Dated: Feburary 8, 2008
Note: Eng-Tag!
You Hate Them!
There are few stories that I’ve heard that end up in a good relationship. There’s my sister who’s luckily married to her first boyfriend for almost a decade. My colleague and her wife with 2 kids still happily married. My boyhood friend got a girl for several years and still excited about each other, my parents who’s still devoted to one another. All of them are happy and lucky and the rest, well, let’s just say, were all crap! Pain is pain and there’s nothing you can do about it. They say that time heals all wounds but who needs time when your heart was smashed into pieces, your head was spinning like roulette and you waking up in the morning with all the bottles of vodka beside your bed (wow!) and still the pain doesn’t leave you behind.
There are times you want to end it, or sometimes you want to end his own life(hahaha) but the fact is you can’t just wake up in the morning and thought it all as a dream or skip the tune on your CD to "I’m so hurt" to "Shout for Joy", it’s not like that. How I wish but it’s like that. Pain, heartache, heartbroken, broken-hearted, dumped, desolated, misery, hopeless, stood out, all of these has only one common, "this is not my luckiest day of my life". Oh don’t deny it, since when you finally think about yourselves? Since when did you get on time to that all-friend party of yours? or since when you bought your own new shirt or even a socks for heaven sake? since when you eat up your lunch and never thought about "where is he now?, is he okay". You know what these means? You’re dragging yourself to your own danger zone! All of us female are more submissive towards guys. One thing that you must put in your coconut head that there are no submissive guys, if there is, there are gays (hahah). Men consider themselves as the superior Homo sapiens and they intended to overrule everything, even pain, that’s why female are prone to heartache.
Sometimes we don’t want to fall in love anymore because we’re so scared for another shit that might happen. You keep on digging and digging until there’s nothing more to dig and and if you have, the last thing you’ll remember was giving up was the hardest thing to do. Another thing is we can’t accept the fact that we’re just another history after losing the battle in the name of love (ewww!), its pain in a butt.
They say "Why do we have to suffer like that?" no one can tell the answers… All you can hear was "let him be, we love you, we’re here for you" or "He’s not the one" and lastly "God has a plan and that includes it", what a hell of excuse, blah blah blah, "I’m in pain can anyone see that". Every time that you increase another depth in your life there’s a different perspective you have to face, no more, no less. That’s life.
I used to bang my head on a cupboard when I was sixteen when my boyfriend left me with another girl, now all you can hear is "Pre inom tayo, lintek iniwan ako e". Now I’m 30 years old and I have my own way on dealing things. When I’m so upset, I buy my own drink and shove it into my freezer and when I start to whine I just open a bottle or two and viola!! Jump to bed and fall asleep and in the morning I laugh myself out, "Did I eat that?"
I used to think that getting pain or experiencing pain might give me more self confidence or just another "O tamo sa susunod alam mo na" thing, there’s no difference between what I used to think before and what I’m dealing it right now, it’s all the same, there are bunch of wise guys out there and were outnumbered. We’re losing it, 15-love. But we do know is how to express pain, we cry and cry until all of our friends drunk up all the booze! And knocked out, and still we cry. Boys can’t do that. Seriously, we can’t handle pain because we have to; we handle the pain because we wanted to. You know what will happen, you’re aware of that, you know what’s next but still you cling on to something that might not belong to you, it’s pathetic.
One time, my friend talked to me about her tall-good-looking-smart boyfriend who turns out to be an ego-centered man who left her for no reason, she said, "what went wrong?", how the hell should I know!, I mean she’s asking me what went wrong when she already know the answer. It’s like taking a hike with no map. We’re so obliged to the point that it is all feelings and it can’t fade away that easily, woooosh! It can fade away, trust me. Just step by step, you can lure another moron in your life and smack his head and we’re all quits!
People might say I’m a Man-hater, duh! I like men, who can’t live without men? I’m not a saint, especially I’m not gay. What is I don’t like about then was after you live with a man, the feelings, the hurt, all of these memorize that you have was overcome by that and in the end, you hated them. You hated every inch of their guts and asking question "Why do I ended up with this looser?" Hahha…And you want to break that bridge again, turn to be single and hop to a bar and find some good looking looser guys to fed up with your life and in the end you hated them all over again.
February 12, 2008 at 4:37 am Edit
correct ka dyan!!! at long last, nakahanap din ng time na mag comment… haaaay… After they used you they will dumped you, most people that you get involve specially your friends or I can say even your own bestfriend you trust them in your whole life and but then after they get what they want they will just dumped you no matter how long you spend time with each other and then will not just end to that they will still sucks you ’till you get empty… These people are those insecure and can’t find true happiness within their selves a parasites that keeps pestering and bugging your life and who always want to have the sympathy of other people even if this will break one’s wholeness…
