-- 

Get a grip...

Sometimes when you think that life is too short, you better think again.

Someone will read this, then sasabihin nila... "seryoso ang lola!". Well, we have to sometimes. My daugther is ill, not that serious pero I'm a mother and even the slightest pain that my family encounters, nahihirapan ako. Ganun pala ang feeling when your getting into a stage na kailangan ka ng magbago. There are things that must left behind. Well, I never enjoyed my junior life well some of it pero majority yung laging bad trip, kaya ngayon ko palang nakikita ang lahat ng hindi ko napagdaanan.

I also feel pain, not emotionally but physically. All of my friends said na "Ano ba,galing ka bang Q.I.? Bakit ang payat mo?"... how the should I know?!... 'wag kayong magtaka kung pumapayat ako... you will be surprised kapag tumaba ako!

There's so many things that I cannot do na, like climbing stairs, I always catched my breath kapag umaakyat ako ng overpass. I can't stand alone for a few minutes, my legs were getting numb already. I do smoke... a lot. I know na ang sasabihin mo... TIGILAN MO NA YAN!! I'm trying, it's like guarding a apple pie to a fat kid. I do feel the depression, so many failures and I'm strugling alone.

Dancing Queen

Last night, I was with my friends, mga banda sila. Dante, a tattoo artist and also a band's vocalist was at the bar. They held their musical tribute scheds every thursday and saturday (may bayad sila). The typical place was small, coazy enough for some group of people who wants to take a night out. I was outside waiting for them to finish their 1st set. While puffing a smoke, suddenly two girls appeared.... napaiktad ako!!...Wow! ang "get-ups!".... parang gusto kong habulin ng towel!, nakalimutan ata ang damit sa bahay. Let me describe; One girl wears a very thin layer of clothes, more like a fish net... imagine that as a "see-through" dress, then, I think it was a g-string and a bra (buti nagsuot), another one was wearing a tube top... sa tingin ko isang dangkal lang, then a micro mini...

as in micro dahil mas malapad pa ata yung tube niya kesa sa skirt niya, and they're marching around the street, ewan ko..galing ata sa lugawan e hahaha. They seems to be drunk at that time at masama na ang tingin sa kin co'z I was looking at them na parang in a different way... ay sus! hindi sila nagkamali noh.... anak ng!! nagulat ako sa mga suot e, I don't know about them but... "Where the hell they get those lakas ng loob to walk around like that?". I found out na isa pala sila sa mga GRO sa loob ng bar. Sa tingin ko rin mga bata pa sila, like 23 or something (bata paba yun?). I am not into this kinda situation because gurlalush nga ako, kasi parang ako ang nahihiya sa kanila. Then hindi ko namalayan, Dante was packing up the 1st set, at nagkita na kami sa labas... Kamustahan... asaran... then they said na jam daw ako sa kanila, "I'm on a rush!" dinaanan ko lang sila. They insist na pumasok kami sa loob ng bar grill... Yung face ko nagiba ng look. Gusto kong tumakbo, nangiti na lang sila kasi alam nila nasa isip ko, "Kakain lang tayo Niq, then balik tayo dito sa labas"... Ok then...kakain lang pala e. Buti na lang dun kami sa may bandang backstage at bka may makakita pa sa kin dun at batukan ako. But I feel uncomfortable, surrounded by those gilrs na iikot-ikot sa tabi ko.

Parang ako si "Flash" kung kumain, "Pare, loaded na ako"... ha ha ha. Then konting kwentuhan sa labas, Im in a hurry talaga kasi may pupuntahan pa ako at baka sakalin na ako ng taong yun.

I remember, like this situation, same thing din, kaso sinadya nman. My kumpareng Fernan and I had this katuwaan, hindi ko maalala kung sino ang may bday samin that night, but we have this few bottles to knock ourselves up.

It was boring na kahit tawanan lang kami ng tawanan that night e para kaming baliw kasi dalawa na nga lang kmi e naglolokohan pa. He has this kwento na may pipuntahan sila na place, as in beerhouse, "Niq!, punta tayo dun, may all the way ngayon dun" ... "Ano naman ang gagawin ko dun?"... and because I have this "tama" na, ayun, I was convinced by this kumag to come along. 9pm pa lang at masyado pang maaga... "Good!... hindi ako pwedeng late na umuwi... magagalit si Jagernaut!" but he still kulit me... "sandali lang tol...tamo matatawa ka". Then ayun, the show starts as early than unexpected. There are 3 teenage girls on stage, dancing, Fernan and I was at the front near the small stage. I was holding a draft while he's holding a light beer (parang baligtad ah). The lights turned off... end of the 1st show... "ok tol, I have enough, can we go now?"... He completely ignored me. Then BOOM! biglang lumiwanag...the lights turned on again... the music was Kenny G's Sillohuete, the girl appeared wearing only a T-back, "Yikes!!!"... kung ano ano pinag gagawa... then ayun...naghubad na. I was looking at her eyes, it seems hindi niya gusto ang ginagawa niya... who would be e binabastos na siya... "Tol!... we have to go...NOW!". I can't take this kinda thing, siguro kahit lalaki ako e hindi ako tatambay sa ganito. Naaawa ako sa kanila. I mean maraming descent na trabaho

naman siguro, nangaling din ako sa hirap pero hindi ako nag-isip na maging ganyan. Hindi ako kumikibo on the way out... "Oy! ano problem mo?" he said... "Can we... just go?".Nasayang ang ininom ko, nawala lasing ko, parang bagong gising sa umaga. He explained that talagang ganun sila, wala tayong magagawa, trabaho yun, "WHAT?! alin ang trabaho?!... Yung magsayaw na 2 steps lang ang alam ang yung pangatlo e maghuhubad kana?!...Tapos kung ano-ano maririnig mo...Hindi ata matatangap ng magulang nila na ipinanganak sila ng ganun tapos they will end up like that!.. Way the go tol!... Hindi excuse yan". I sympathized that girl, nalungkot ako, kapwa ko ganun lang ang ginagawa. "Siya...siya...uwi na tayo". Pero lately natawa ako, para mawala ang badtrip ko e nagkwento nalang ako ng kalokohan para hindi ako matawag na kj.

Marami akong napapansin na ganyan lalo na if you're in Manila. Few years ago, I was single back then, my supervisor sa artist area and I e nagkakulitan din, we end up at Timog Area, a videoke bar pero may mga girls, maayos yung lugar, clean. I expected "it was only a videoke bar" edi eto na ang mga lolo at lola, nagkantahan na, samantalang ako umiikot ang mata. "Ay sus! anu ba yun... ang tanda na o...ang likot pa ng kamay"... PAK!! binatukan ako ng visor ko... he said..."Ano ba?!... magugulpi tayo sa ginagawa mo e, kumanta ka nalang"... kaya siguro hindi na ako sinama ng mga kumag na mga to dahil sa ganun ha ha ha.

I was present...NOT!!

Have you ever heard of the "Budol-Budol"? Gang daw yun and they use hypnotism to the victim(wow!)para makuha nila ang mapapakinabangan sayo. I've heard so many news about that,maraming gimik ang mga magnanakaw... hanef noh parang advertising?!

I have a friend named Butchoi, well gitarista namin sya. Matagal na kami magkasama nyan but the one that I will tell you na story e hindi pa kami nagtatagpo... kaya aun minalas ha ha ha!!... Nabiktima siya ng ganyan, yun nga lang iba. He was walking along the street (malabon) I think sa Concepcion, malapit sa area where the Factory ng Patis erected. It was night at kagagaling lang nia sa binyagan,he's carrying a bag(knapsack)inside nandun ung handycam... fresh from Japan. In a moment lang sa paglalakad biglang may humarang sa kanya, 3 big men(sbi nia malalaking ato raw e)at hinawakan siya at akmang gugulpihin, e kakapuring palang ang katawan ni butchoi maliban lang tiyan na malaki. He heard isa sa kanila na ang sabi, "Eto pare...tinakbuhan kapatid ko nito...P@^#&$ mo!!...yari ka ngaun"... siyempre ang lolo e makakasigaw ba ng "Captain Barbel" un, ayun halos tumiklop..."Hindi po, nagkakamali po kayo, Wala po akong tinakbuhan at wala po akong alam sa sinasabi niyo...maniwala kayo"........ well sa haba ng conversation e na-convince naman ni pareng Butchoi ung mga ulupong... pero... eto mabagsik!... "Sige kung hindi talaga ikaw yun naniniwala kami, medyo hawig mo kasi e yung hinahanap namin, medyo delikado ka, lika sumama ka muna sa min kasi nakatimbre ka sa barangay at mga tambay dyan, mamya makita ka baka gulpihin ka pa, pki lala muna ka nmin para makauwi ka na..." wow! how sweet naman the ma-ma, caring... e kaso ganito nangyari... sumama siya, Oo nga maraming tambay, mga may hawak na kung anu-ano...yun nga lang Hold-upper!! Ayun ang huling narinig niya sa ma-ma,"Boy!bigay mo na yang bag mo... pera walet, bka gripuhan kita"....anye-nyeeeee!!!

Eto nman ang version ko. I was heading sa Sta. Cruz...sa Bambang, ayoko mag LRT kasi nga barat ako ha ha ha. Sa Bambang mismo ako bumaba, I was walking along the street at medyo window shopping(hah!e puro hospital equipment dun!)medyo pagod na ako at 4pm na ng hapon, pupunta kasi ako sa kliente para maningil. Then suddenly, may girl...hanef! ang ganda!! powtah!...starstruck!!! Meztiza, balat akala mo bond paper, her skin parang sa chinese pero ang face e espaniola!!!(andale...andale!!!)napatingin din siya sa kin kasi nauuna lang siya ng konti. Then, buong paglalakad ko na yun e face niya ang nasa isip ko... lakad lang ako ng lakad... take note nakangiti pa... I recall e siya sinusundan ko... basta malayo na...pero bigla siyang nawala...ampowtah!!! napansin ko nasa ibang lugar na ako, I dunno the street name pero malayo na sa pupuntahan ko... "WHATA FU... ASAN NA AKO?!!" lahat ng nakikita ko e matataas ba building, puro chinese na tao...."YIKESSS!! BINONDO!!!", nagtanong ako kung kani-kanino... they told me na malayo na yung street na tinutukoy ko. Weird kasi na hindi ako pwedeng maligaw kasi kahit nakapikit ako e mapupuntahan ko yun, and almost 50x na ako nagawi dun.... wheewww!!! kung sino man yang babae na yan....lumayu ka...wahhhhhhhhh!!!

WEIRD BIRTHDAY NIGHT...

We had this friend of ours, may birtday... surely inuman. I came late, nauna husband ko dumating and because walang magbabantay ng bata e pinatulog ko pa muna.
Dumating ako sa bday e mga ala na sa katinuan yung iba. Lassshennng na, my hubby was playing with the drums kasi nga may tugtugan. Lahat barako pero lahat naman
e mga friends and kumpare namin. I think apat lang kaming babae, e yung get-ups ko pa e alanganin, mukha akong lalaki ha ha ha. I was in this corner, solo flight lang, ayokong
kumanta, ayokong makipag kwentuhan (bat pa kaya ako nagpunta e noh?). Then I have to pee... nakatayo lang ako in front of the door kung san ang toilet... anak ng!!! ang tagal
naman nito... baka lubid na nilabas nito ah?... At para malibang ako, I started to count some coins from my pocket, and some of it e nahulog mula sa kamay ko. I picked it one
by one, then ayun lumabas na yung tao sa CR. I looked up, and she was looking down with a smile. Pakiramdam ko e namutla ako, muka akong tanga sa posiyon ko ha ha ha.
"Sorry, it took me too long ha"... ok lang... sasabog lang nman pantog ko e... bwiset!

Nearly 10pm and still maingay pa rin, tagay-tagay... nandun pa rin ako sa same pwesto... kasi tradisyonal na yan, kapag ako dadarating e ako na ang isasalang, ganun din asawa ko.
Hangang sa eto na, kulitan na, hatakan na... "Mamya na ako, siya muna"... wala akong maituro kundi yung girl na nakasalubong ko sa CR, then nagtawanan lang. I cracked the tunes,
pinagbigyan para tantanan na ako. Then after that, the other bisitang girl nung may bday ang nag aya sa kin para sumalo and some gurlush talk (not my thing),
I known them lang sa face kasi wife sila nung ibang tropa kaso can't remember the names. They introduce me sa iba, and the girl na sinasabi ko kanina pa e siya mismo ang nagpakilala
sa sarili niya...(medyo hilo na ako, hindi ko matandaan name niya). She reached her hands towards me, what a manner naman kung hindi ko kakamayan diba?.. then sakin lahat nakatingin,
siguro the way yung kilos ko e kakaiba sa kanila, but surely, I'm not acting like a jerk (or would I?), the girl keep on insisting na dun daw ako sa tabi niya, medyo maingay nga nman at hindi na
kami magkarinigan. All I remember that night was she is only 19 (sabi niya), maganda siya yun nga lang hangang neck ko lang ata height niya, attractive,... nilamon ako ng buo... laki ng boobs e ha ha ha.
And finally she revealed, "Galing akong Japan"... so I see... "Talaga, dun ka work? ano nature ng work mo dun?"...anak ng pituka...ang plastik kong magtanong. Then parang hindi na ako comfortable.
Hindi nman siya siguro lasing para kumilos ng ganun. Then tinawag ulit ako para jamming ulit... I ask her, "Join me!",.... abay ang lola, biglang tumayo, nag request pa na Duet pa daw...ano toh? ASAP?
I let her work on the mic, "sige, I'll back you up!"... Nung medyo at I really thought na nalilibang na siya sa ginagawa niya, I step backward na para makaupo na ako... Then when I turned around towards
the chair...biglang "San ka pupunta?" sabay hawak sa waist ko, WHOAH!!... What did she think I am?.... I excuse myself na lang "sa CR lang". After that, I walked towards my hubby's chair, where all the
guys talaga ang nakapaligid. "What time tayo uuwi?"... he said na enjoy lang, mamya nalang daw. So wala akong magagawa kundi bumalik sa upuan ng mga gurlalush. Sabihin na natin na ang name niya
ay a.k.a "Lea" (nahihirapan na ako knina pa e), well Lea just asked me kung san ako galing... as if!!... BAKIT BA TANONG KA NG TANONG?... ayun nagkakwentuhan na kami, para siyang bingi kasi hindi
niya pinapansin yung mga kasama niya ako lang ata ang nakikita. Hangang sa...ay sus... she lean herself before me... kala mo mag jowa ha ha ha. Naiirita na ako, but nahihiya nman ako ipakita kasi
mukang mabait nman. Eto lang ang medyo nailang ako, when she's talking isang dangkal na lang layo niya sa face ko. Tapos yung dibdib niya nakadikit na sa arms ko... siguro kung lalaki ako may manoy ng
tatayo! kaso ang tumayo e balahibo ko sa batok. I still ignored pa rin the situation kasi bka lasing na nga. Or parang naiisip ko na di kaya she thought that I was a lesbian or talagang pumapatol sa babae.
Nahhhh.... mali lang iniisip ko...malambing lang siguro toh. Siguro it was pass 2am na, "we need to go" senyas ko sa hubby ko, lintek medyo matatagalan pa kasi halos lahat ng nandun e mga gamit namin...
so aayusin niya pa. I excuse myself again to go outside para magpahangin at medyo umiwas na sa inom. Lea followed, para akong may anino. She asked kung san kami umuuwi, I just smiled..."Bakit may
wheels kaba?...hahatid mo ba kami?" I said.... then I was surprised that she said "YES"... alin ang YES... may wheels ka o yung hahatid part?... then she laughed.... for crying out loud medyo napalakas ata tawa
niya kasi napatingin lahat ng tao... ultimo pedicab driver that was just passing by.... sabay banat ng "Nakakatawa ka!"... oh yeah...hindi nman joke yun ah? Then finally... she has to go home first..."Haayyy! salamat!"
But before that... she insisted my number, I explained that I don't have a celfone that night and it is still broken and it will be fix after 5 days. "Ang damot mo naman!"...nyeeee! I give up, binigay ko na rin para wala
ng mahabang chitchat..."I will text you after 1 week, then if you have time, punta ka sa bahay, lagi naman walang tao dun e" ....NYAKOPUUU!!...ayawan na. Ewan ko lang, I have 3 days to find out what will happen...
kung tatapon ko cel ko or tatakbo ako kapag nasalubong ko.

THE OTHER SIDE...

I am an artist, as I say so myself (weeh!) In a respective manner. Eversince I was 5yrs old, all I wanted to do was to draw. I was influenced by my siblings, espcially
by my sister. When I started school (kindergarten) lahat ng notebook at paper ko ay may drawing. It was normal to my age kasi lahat naman dumaan sa ganoon. When
I reached elementary, lagi na ako ang pick sa mga school projects, sometimes pati na rin sa mga local competition, poster contest etc. I was in grade 4 when my mother
was called upon my adviser. The reason; "Hindi nagsusulat anak niyo Misis, puro drawing laman ng notebook!". Ang nanay ko galit na galit, sa lahat ng magkakapatid, I was
the first na pinatawag ng magulang. Lahat ng notebook ko puro drawing, nagsisimula sa likuran ng page ng notebook hangang mag abot na sa front. I was scolded maghapon
sa bahay. My father seems to understand pero ang nanay ko medyo nagalit kaya when I'm in 5th grade e nagtino ako, pero hindi pa rin maiwasan... nangangati kamay ko.
Ang minsan na badtrip lang sa may ganitong talento e lahat ng classmate mo e magpapagawa sayo ng drawing kahit na simple lang, ako ang ituturo kapag may ipapa-draw
ang teacher ko sa blackboard. Highschool came at ganun pa rin, and even worsed than before. I was known by that, pati sa ibang sections e ako ang hinahanap, magpapa-
drawing lang ng face of Rizal sa illustration board. It was flattering in some ways pero minsan abuso na, alam nila na may ginagawa ka then if you ignore or should I say na
magdahilan ka, magagalit sayo. I remember nasa 4th year na ako, we have this drama show sa school, parang movies ang dating, 5 sections and 4 of them e ginawan ko ng
posters... not just one but 4 each. Kahit thank you from their adviser e wala akong natangap. Then another project came, history. Our teacher said that magpasa kami ng
drawings sa illustration board, we have to pick lang sa book about the famous places or faces from the world hiostory. Hala!...eto na pila. Ilan ang close friends ko; Marjorie,
Joy, Selina, Raquel and Lorraine... e di 5 na yun. Sa loob pa ng classroom, not included sa ibang section. I think na-idrawing ko e almost 40. Pero nung sa kin na ang gagwin ko,
ay sus! nagmukang drawing lang ng elementary. Then, when we graduated, ang nakuhang Artist of the Year e yung iba.... ha ha ha.... bwiset!

I was planning to take Architecture or Civil Engineer...kaso may Math ha ha ha. But my nanay wanted me to take a Computer course, either Comp. Eng. or Comp. Science...
Ang layo!! She insisted na "in" yan ngayon like sa sister ko na "in" daw ang Nursing. "Ayoko nga!", all I want is to draw!draw!draw!... Ipinaglaban ko yun! I took a schedule
exam sa UST at para hindi rin sumama loob ng mother ko e kumuha din ako ng exam sa Adamson for the computer Course. My mom said that kpag nakapasa ako sa
Adamson e dun na ako at nakapasa. But I was secretly got an exam sa UE CFA... and I passed... HA HA HA! MAY BUMABAGSAK BA DON?! It was fun to be like want
you always wanted to do. Pinangatawan ko yun. They said na "Walang pera dyan" (owssss!).

Art is everything. Lahat ng bagay pwede mong masabing art or artist (sa tao), music is one of them. I was introduced on some tune when I was still young, kakaiba hilig ko
regarding sa age ko. When I was in gradeschool... about in a 5th grade e may Santana and Guns na ako while the others was into New Wave. Poison, Warrant, Tesla, Skid Row and the
likes (sorry folks... I'm not into Metalica, well, yung Justice for all and Ride the Lighting medyo nahiligan ko pa) basta banda... yan maasahan mo ako. When in Highschool,
lumabas ang Illussion I & II, Black Album and ang sinasabi nilang Jologs na Bon Jovi (oy! nanood ako ng concert nyan).Kaputukan ng Nirvana (Buhay pa si Kurt), Pearl Jam,
STP at ang pagbabalik ng Aerosmith. Sa pinoy naman, Razorback... Classic na JDLC, Sampaguita at Asin. Take note my dear, gurl ako, yung mga barkada ko ayun kay
Chiqui Pineda pinakikinggan at yung national anthem na "Heaven Knows" ha ha ha... langya naalala pa. Senior year... eto na jamming-jamming, masakit man sa ear pero akala
ko okay na yun. I started at 17 ng nasama ako sa banda, but naging active talaga when Im 19. Late na ako nagsimula compare sa mga kabataan ngayon. But hindi ako mahilig mag-
reveal, mostly my close friends e hindi pa ako nakikitang tumugtog, even my own family, lalo na ang father na ayaw sa ganyan dahil mga "primus-adiktus" daw ang ganyan...
SEX, DRUGS & ROCK n' ROLL... wow! hanef! parang lahat ganun. My passion to music e nag bloom, sinasali ako ng nanay ko sa singing contest nung elementary years at naging
choir for 5 years. Pero rakista (yun ang tawag nila) pagtanda. I do write songs pero hindi ko mailabas.... potek ako lang ata makakaintindi nun e ha ha ha. Marami na rin akong
nakasama at sari-sari klaseng individual na musikero sa banda, paiba-iba ng member, minsan ako ang bago or sila ang pinalitan o pumalit. Naging consistent lang ang kasama ko
when my former friend (hehe, hubby ko na ngayon) ang nagkasama. I remember my first sabak to the Battle of the Bands e halos hindi ako makatayo sa kinauupuan ko, and I was 18 ata, I even vomit
sa sobrang tense..."Pare, kelangan ba natin toh?", until naging sanay na pero hangang ngayon e may "daga" pa rin sa dibdib kapg sumampa sa entablado. My last tugtog was last year.
November 2005, we're included sa finalist ng Yamaha Asian Beat. Until then wala ng masyadong major event. I was devastated when I quit, for the 1st time in my life, ngayon lang ako
tumalikod sa gusto ko dahil may dahilan. I missed everything, the guys(miyembro ko), the gigs, colleagues etc.

I WAS AT THE AIRPORT...

I was at the Airport last night, my sister, whom na umalis mula Manila to Saipan (where the hell is that?! ha ha ha). She will taking
up an exam for Nursing to work in the US. I wish her luck para ma-fulfill nya yung kanyang dream. She will be there for seven days
only. Before na muna siya umalis, nadun kami sa parking lot, well I'm not into "sundo-hatid" in the airport kaya I don't know anything
about it, my last punta there was in 1998, when my ex-bf go to Jeda to work. Well balik tayo, when we're waiting for her flight. As I said
we were at the parking lot, all I have in mind was "Yosi...Yosi...Yosi!", I reached for my pocket and I found out that there's nothing left, even
a broken stick of yosi. I got so depressed, "Bakit hindi ba ako nagdala ng extra...anu gagawin ko sa lighter ko?". But first thing in mind, before
I make a sudden move to look for a yosi, tumingin ako sa paligid, "Baka bawal". I've been in a part of some city na as in "No SMOKING"... I mean
"The Hell!", pero may vendor sa tabi-tabi. Like in Makati, pagbaba mo palang sa station ng LRT-Gil Puyat, bubungad na agad "No SMOKING",
in Quezon City, there's a part na meron din, lalo na if you're riding on a jeep and in some Manila area, pero sa gabi... hala sige parang mga
pugon lalo na sa Baywalk at Malate. Sa Makati, meron vendor pero tinitinda nila Blue Seal na tingi ha ha ha. It was hard to have a habbit of
smoking, kagaya nga ng sinabi ko na nung nasa NAIA kami last night, I saw a little store inside the parking lot and I thought it was a relief, but
when I got inside and saw the price of a 1pack of Winston Lights...." ANO!! 45 PESOS!!", lintek 19 pesos lang to sa palengke and 27 sa 7/11...bwiset!
I changed my mind na wag na muna mag yosi. I was so depressed, "pag uwi na lang or sa biyahe".

My Ate/Sister gave a final farewell to us, hindi kami gano sa "embraced" pero nagawa ko, langya 1 week lang akala mo mawawala ng matagal.
My father asked me kung kelan naman ang interview ko sa Dubai, I said, "next week pa", I was surprised, ayaw niya kami payagan na aalis ng
pinas, I dunno if his a patriotic or talagang ayaw niya. Ngayon, halos pagtulakan na kami ha ha ha. I really want to go to abroad, kung hindi ako
nag asawa malamang ngayon palang ako uuwi galing ibang bansa, at ngayon palang maghahanap ng asawa at lalagay sa gulo... este tahimik pala.
My father said, "bago ka umalis, hinto mo yang paninigarilyo mo".... What?! Yosi nanaman?!... "Ayyy naku Tay! kung alam nyo lang, gustong-gusto
ko na!"

I don't know what's got into me, bigla ko na naisipan yan kasi matagal ko na binura sa isip yang abroad na yan. I said to myself before na dito nalang
ako at kaya ko naman magtrabaho na hindi ko na kailangan umalis pa... eto hindi na Patriotic to.... Stupidity na to. Well, I humbly say na okay nman
ang kinikita ko, but everytime na nangyayari yun e parang may hatak pababa, dadaan lang ang pera sa kamay... mangiinis lang. I admit, mas malakas
ang kita sa freelance than sa dayjob, pero hirap pa rin makaahon. I'm holding a 5k on my pocket the other time, wala pang a week, nawawala na, or
Hmmmm saan ba nadala yun?.... Ahhh napunta lahat sa bayarin, bills, rent, food etc. etc. lalong lalo na dyan sa electric bills na yan!! I'm not a materialistic
person, mahilig lang ako maglabas or bumili ng kahit ano basta ikasasaya ng pamilya, pero sa sarili, hindi na... sowssss. Eto nga lang kahapon,
lumabas lang ako sandali, nawala na 3h, langya! bumili lang ako ng tsinelas. Ang mahal talaga ng bilihin, kaya minsan naisip ko kung lumipad na rin ako e.
When I was in a garment/sports company last month ago, ay naku! ang laki ng hirap ko sa transpo and food. Hindi ko malaman kung san ako dadampot ng
allowance just to provide lang pumasok. One of the HR said that our salary is fixed and dapat kasya na daw yun... I mean... Hello!! Talento po ang pinag uusapan
hindi ordinary job lang! "We have to budget everything" she said...oh yeah, kung yung presidente natin maloka-loka sa kaka-budget e... tayo pa kaya. I'm not earning
a 20k a month, nor to eat in a fast food lane at kakain sa Red Ribbon kapag breaktime ng 3pm noh! Eh magmula sa pagbili ng simpleng posporo at garapon ng kape
dinadanas ko hangang sa pgabayad ng rent monthly dinadaanan ko... Tapos sasabihin mo, "Budget lang!". Hindi ko malaman kung engot or talagang bulag e.

Iba kasi ang panahon dati, so atleast naranasan ko maghirap, walang makain. Mabuti pa nga ang iba okay lang, may pamilya pero nakapisan naman sa parents.
Walang iniintindi kundi kumain... natatawa nalang ako dahil may pinag aawayan pa mag asawa... anu kaya yun? Kaya ang remedy ko nalanfg talaga is lumayas na
sa pinas. There's nothing na rin siguro dito. Ayoko ng maging makata, abay lintek nagugutom pamilya ko e. If I had to get through everything, makaalis lang. Like for
sample, my boss... pure breed Chinese, dito na sila nagbinata... kumalat na lahi nila. But eventhough some of them are tough to work with,
nakakamangha rin. Consider this as a compliment to them. My friend also a chinese, manager ng isang printing press, magaling sila. Maybe
nature nalang nila talaga maging masipag, and sometimes, nature din nila pagiging kuripot ha ha ha. Dayuhan sila, but definitely buo ang loob.
So why cant we be like them?(not the part na sometimes hindi sila fair) Well, few may lucky pero dumaan sa isang damakmak na hirap.
If I ever have this chance to prove to myself na kaya ko maging maunlad, gagawin ko. Time is running out, isa na ako sa nahuli. Sometimes...
or everytime... I ask myself the big "Why?"... may hadlang ba? may dahilan ba? may maiiwan ba? meron ka bang hindi maiwan?... ANOH?!
Answers to those questions is "YES!"... I have a daughter, 3 years old, I'm a mother... It is not nature to a mother na iwan ang kanyang supling.
I want to guide her, gusto ko kpag dumaing sya e I'm the one she's going to call, gusto ko makita lahat ng "1st" niya. Nandito nga lang ako sa
office right this moment, but my mind e nasa bahay. Pano pa kaya kung malayo ako... Its a mental torture to a working mom like me. Parang wala
akong tiwala sa iba... ewan ko? I have so many reasons why I'm still here than "why I have to leave"... Ang gulo ko noh? Lintek na pera kasi yan e,
yan lang ang dahilan.

UE CFA...

We're going to have a college "tropa" reunion by the next January. My friend na nag-request was Jepp, nasa China siya ngayon, like everyone else e nabubuwang na ang loko sa kalungkutan, buti pa daw kami nsa pinas e magkakasama yung family. Well, maunlad na siya ngayon at proud ako sa kanya dahil sa work niya. Fernan (my kumpare and bestfriend since college) and I went to Alodia's house the other night. Alodia was the cum laude of our batch from Fine Arts. Ayun nagkakwentuhan about the past, recap ng mga kalokohan... etc etc. Humingi ako ng tulong about sa reunion, cause its been a long time at hindi ko na alam kung san lupalop ko hahanapin ang iba. Then this morning, I search sa Friendster, it was a big help kahit papano. I see Gracel dela Cruz, whom na pinaka cute sa min na akala mo bata (pero mas matanda sakin yan). I remember her completely kasi lagi kami magkasunod alphabeticaly, minsan tulungan sa plates, lalo na sa perspective, "Niq!...tulungan mo ako dito!" with matching iyak-iyak pa ha ha ha. Naka full battle gear yan pagdating sa poster color... dala niya lagi 12, samantalang ako 3 primary color lang. Minsan may dalang TSquare kahit alang mechanical drawing. Ang taong napakahilig sa cartoons, lalong lalo na The Simpsons at Archie, kaya tingnan mo lahat ng drawing nyan kamuka ni Archie (joke joke joke), compliment yun ha. Tawag ko sa kanya dati "Anak ni Leyson!", Ms. Leyson was our professor sa FA, hawig nya, at lagi pa sya ang tinatawag kapag pumapasok na sa loob ng classroom. "Gracel, come here muna"... pero yung pronounced niya kay Gracel e "Grachel" not "Graysel" like we used to call her. Speaking of Ms. Leyson, I remember sa Art History (can't remember which one), siya ang prof namin, okay siya magturo, yun nga lang kapag nag-coffee break siya... ay sus!!! isang bariles na ata ng kape ang iniinom, ang tagal siya bago bumalik sa classroom ha ha ha.

Then mabalik tayo sa searching, I also saw Athena Loyola sa friendster. She's married (si Bonzon kaya?). Isa sa pinakamahusay sa FA batch 94-98, ke-liit-liit na tao pero aatras ka kapag nakita mo creations niya. I heard that she was a cartoonist on one of the well known cartoon industry sa pinas... Kaya kpag napapanood nyo ang DragonBall, pinoy na ang karamihan na gumagawa non. A Santingan member, deans lister etc etc... any medium kaya (nakss). Akala ko nung una when I was in Highschool e ako na ang kilala sa drawing, nung pumasok na ako ng UECFA... nilamon ako ng buo, lahat ng gawa ko basura ha ha ha. Another cartoonist na I.B. (in-betweener) is Ricardo Bue, eto hindi ko malaman pano naging seryosong artist toh, e lahat ng laman sa katawan e kalokohan... lalo na gagayahin niya si Grover sa sesame st. ika nga ni Rommel e laging nag-aasin yung black shirt sa pawis (natawa ko dun ah), ngayon proud din ako, hayun maunlad na. Rommel Tan, eto nman e matalinong tao, lagi perfect sa mga quizes at exams, laging "Uno" sa plate (he he he), naalala ko yung TSquare nya,langya may bisagra ha ha ha. O di kaya lakas asarin si Rowen. Ahh eto... Rowen Estanislao (laglagan nato)... Isa sa mga napakaingay na tao, buka pa lang ng bibig tatawa kana, yung bang boses e maliit na hindi mo malaman, kakapuring na tao ha ha ha, panay lait ko noh pero naging jowa ko yan, ewan ko kung bakit(joke), besides his kalokohan side e napaka bait nyan, sa lahat ng naging ex ko yan ang naging bestfriend ko at kumpare to my anak pero simula nung pinanganak baby ko e hindi pa kami nagkikita nyan kaya malaki na utang nyan ha ha ha. I remember Rowen when times na napalungkot ko dahil brokenhearted "me", siya kasalo ko sa inuman, one on one lang kami, minsan 2pm pa lang ng hapon sa UE lasing na kami. Siya takbuhan ko kapag may prob ako. They said na married na rin siya, and lucky for the girl dahil responsable si Rowen at mabait yan, may wheels na rin daw ang loko, "Potek! Wen! buti abot mo yang Gas?! ha ha ha". Kung ako questionable ang jowamech kay Rowen, eto pa isa, Rosselle Uy, may crush kay Rowen (ha ha ha langya) but that was long history. Rosselle was a painting major but na-bore siguro kaya lumipat ng advertising, she was amazing sa painting, master nya yan. She's my "sangang-dikit" kahit saan, magkamuka na raw kami. Tatlo kaming magkakasama lagi, ako, si Rosselle at Fernan. Payatot pa si Fernan non na parang ako, ngayon kala mo wrestler. Hindi nman sa bad influence pero sa kanila ako nagsimula mag yosi ha ha ha. Ngayon nagsipag hintuan na sila... ako kala mo pugon pa rin. I was there when Rosselle got married, abay pa ako, we were 18 back then. After few years hindi ko na sya nakita. Last time na nagkita kami was about way back year 1999. Miss ko na tong tao na toh at isa sa prob namin ni Fernan kung san sya hahanapin. Next is Jepree Manalaysay ang pasimuno ng reunion. Our "Robin Padilla kuno" ng FA ha ha ha, kilala bilang sakang maglakad dahil pogi daw siya sa ganun. Isa rin si Jepp sa magaling lalo na sa mga realistic drawing, sama mo pa being athletic and musician. Isa siya sa naabutan ng Dredd sa pagsara (mga batang Dredd) at kpag ksama namin yan... ay naku... babae...babae... babae, "Pakilala mo naman ako oh". I admit na naging crush ko yan kaso niligawan niya yung schoolmate namin na si Paulet Tan, also an FA Interior (etong taong to hadlang sa kinabukasan ko mula Highschool pa ha ha ha). The last time na magkita ni Jepp e 2001 nman, before siya umalis para sa abroad. One of our so-called "father" was Diojenes Alejandro Sy (langya haba ng pangalan), well known sa pagdala ng car, yun nga lang nunukan ng barat ha ha ha, e pinaghalo ata Ilokano at Intsik.

Now I'm still on the state of recap, lahat flashback. Some worse days of my life pero marami yung masaya. When I get back after few years, naubos na halos ang tropa, may mga natira pa kaso syempre sa tagal mo ng nawala ang layo na ng hahabulin mo sa subjects. But me and Fernan was still intact. Rosselle was on the list of graduating class of 99. Si Jepp e wala na nung 97 pa, Rowen was still there but sabay na sila ni Rosselle na aalis. Yung iba graduate na like Gracel and Athena. Naiba na mga kasama ko, like Michael Villagante ang "maestro" ng water color.... whewwww! ayoko ng magsalita, potek magaling e. Josep "Ice" Pascual sa konsepto naman. Few like mga barako's Malbin Hung, walang ginawa kundi magpa-cute, nakasama ko rin sa work. Si Jovoy na ang lakas mang-asar, Terence na twag nila ay "Eyes", bahala na kayo humusga, at iba pa. Si Arly, longhair na rakista, Fitz na well known sa exhibit na ngayon and drummer, si Pitas na bahista at August na gitarista. Indap na nunukan ng tahimik pero matinik, Maia bilang "german" kpag galit. hmmmm sino paba...ahh Mickey na fashion icon, Raquel na sus lagi inlove, mareng Mavic na "Niq, masama yan, pag isipan mo", Len2x na fragile, kasi pag nasanga mo e bka tumumba. Si Cha na lahat ata ng itukso sa kanya e nagiging crush niya pero laking tulong sa kin yan, dahil witness nya halos lahat ng kagaguhan ko, yan ang naging kasama ko lagi... lalo na sa inuman ha ha ha. Lahat halos ng SininGang (well yung iba medyo kilala ko lang), mga Tuklas like Vienna, well known sa away nila ni Dudo, Jolly na Ska na. Jordan, galing Abroad, Teddy... etc etc. Hayyyy... haba. Well yung iba nakalimutan ko na ang name, but the memory will remain...(nakss!)

What a worse...

Few months ago, it was March 30, I filed a blotter case against a former friend of mine. Estafa. Humiliating may call but it was only a small amount. We confronted each other at April 6 at the Barangay Hall. I was too had a case, but it was a counter act to defend himself from my allegation. He said that he will going to payback all the money that he consumed. I gave him 3 months, so he signed the papers. The date will be July 31. I waited at the Barangay to call me up at the phone because I can't be there, I have to go to work (not unlike other people na nakatambay lang at purwisyo pa). No one shows up, even man lang kahit kamag anak niya. I bet that he wasn't seriously enough to confront me but the barangay said that they will give him up until friday for him to show up, if not then we're going to proceed to "demanda". I research on the net about estafa case, Department of Justice was 1st in line, and I saw a list of cases just like mine. A Bailbond Guide.

ESTAFA. (Art. 315, No. 1 (a), (b), and (c); No. 2(a), (b), (c) and (e); and No. 3(a), (b) and (c)

FELONY/OFFENSE: If the amount is over P200.00 but does not exceed P6,000.00
PENALTY:Arresto mayor maximum to prision correccional minimum
BAIL: P6,000.00

Are you Gay?

I was at my friends house last night (Day Off kasi he he). Usually, inuman to the max, kaso I'm not into drinking ngayon (oh please!). There, my humble friend serves us their "maling" from his mothers kitchen (hahaha..nandugas pa) and with the help of his cousins tropa to buy a an alak(e di nakalibre). Most of our kainuman is gay... yes! my dear, gay as you can imagine, in short... Bakla. The first few bottles of beer e sila ang sumagot. I was there lang sa sulok, looking at them while laughing to death. One of them was named Yuan or Yu-Ann... a 22 year old lad who claims that he was also gay but he's against to those na gumagawa ng kabaklaan na nakakahiya daw... the traditional way daw of being bakla is having a guy-by-side just to prove na kasama kana sa "federazzion" nila or even wears a lady dress (oh yeah) with matching heels na nuknukan ng taas or shorts na nuknukan ng ikli at rarampa in the middle of the night, hunting for boys to be victimized. I was looking at his face and yet nakakahinayang, he's a good looking guy yun nga lang bakla. I can see that he was happy sa ginagawa niya. When the topic was changed into love life, he was assured that he was so malas about that, and his face turned pale, I dunno kung nasusuka sya sa kalasingan or talagang nalulungkot sya. The other gay person that I encountered was much matured than Yuan, 36 year-old named Mayumi. He's different, lots of fun side, maybe because of his former job as a stand up commedian few months just before he went to Japan. He dressed like a girl, sleeveless shirt and a pedal pants, some make up but not that heavy, making her a stand out because of his humor. He acts like Joey de Leon when he opens his mouth at kung kumilos akala mong gurl talaga. His real name was Hector or something and some friends calls him "Baldo!"... I almost drop sa kakatawa when my friend ask him to reveal his name. Wala syang seryosong nasabi that night, puro pagpapatawa unlike Yuan na medyo senti. The third gay person is Patty, hindi ko masyado natanong ang characteristic nya, dahil bukod sa 2 bakla ay medyo tahimik sya. But the way he wears clothes ay medyo nakaka-shock!... He got a bustline I think of a size 36, medyo nahiya ako dahil yung sa kin e akala mo mungo compare to him. He wears a lots of make up, hindi nman sa napuna ko yung face nya na akala mong espasol sa puti... plunging neckline, hanging blouse and a see-through blazer in black and a mini skirt, and take note... naka T-Back. It was funny that they can wear those kind of clothes in just a simple inuman lang nman. I was thingking that kung natatangap ba nila ang mga tukso ng ibang tao, I mean, nde mawawala sa mga tambay dyan sa labas na nababastos sila. "Go lang!" they shouted!... They get used to it naman daw when the time comes, at kapag bakla ka na talaga ay hindi mo na daw papansinin yung ganun. One of my friends has a 1 brother only, actually 2 lang silang lalaki, sya nag asawa ng maaga, yung isa naging bakla (kaya pala tumakbo ng Dubai tatay mo e), he's against sa bakla (pero tawa sya ng tawa nung gabing yun), I said, we are all the same yun nga lang meron kakaibang nangyayari na sometimes hindi natin matangap, wala naman intensyon ang isang bakla na maging bakla at magkalat ng karumihan sa mundo. Minsan nga kung sino pa ang straight e yun pa loko-loko. When I was still in College, sa Fine Arts building e 5 lang ang bakla mula 1st up to 4th year, 4 of them e mukang lalaki pa rin, baluktot lang magsalita, 1 of them e talagang bakla na. When I stopped from school, bumalik ako after 3 years na, ayun... halos lahat bakla na, halos buong section meron na. I was shocked!! pati tomboy nag increase ng volume. But the gay guy e isa sa mga deans listers. I began to have 5 friends whose puro gay sila. I remember Mickey, real name Mark, magaling tong batang toh lalo na sa fashion subject, they said that he was look exactly like Bong Revilla (kaya imaginin mo si Bong na mahaba buhok) at totoo yun. But his parents doesn't know about his true revelations, kapag nsa bahay sya lalaking-lalaki sya, try mo tawagan sa phone ang isasagot sayo "O PARE KAMUSTA!" ha ha ha. Other one is Teddy, eto tlagang reveal na, kasi kahit uniform niya e uniform na ng babae e. Malakas din magpatawa... sasakit tyan mo. Si Jayvee naman medyo malambot, mulato siya pero ang taray ng kilay. He claims to have a boyfriend pero niloloko lang daw siya. Siya make-up artist ko when a school fashion show was held way back 2000. Yung iba hindi intention na malimutan ang name, lintek ang dami kasi e. When nag work ako, I remember Adan (ganda ng pangalan e noh), he was also gay. Sa kanya ko narinig ang mga kwento about bakla na talagang nanlalaki, 'bout their sex life, financial and love probelems, pero nde sya mukang bakla... wag lang magsasalita. I find it hard to believe that was really happening. Speaking of that experience, I was pinagkamalan na tomboy din dati. I was still 17 then, sa catwalk papuntang building ng FA e inaabangan na ako ng taga-BA, synchronize pa ang pagbati nila..."Hi! Niq"... I thought it was a plain gesture dahil baguhan lang ako. I cut my hair short, wearing a kupas na pants... matching wasak pa by the tuhod (hindi pa bawal sa UE nun yon), a chuck taylor shoes and a white Tee (wow! ang pogi!!)...jeprox! samahan mo pa ng Rayban. Maybe I look like a guy before (hangang ngayon naman e), Tom Cruise nga raw e (anak ng!! sana si Nicole Kidman nalang). Then everyday may naka abang, meron hindi nakatiis at nagbigay ng letter... sowsss akala ko it was the first ever letter of admirer na makukuha ko... hindi nman ako nagkamali...kaso galing sa babae. I freaked out... "Seriously pare!!... Do I look like a boy?" e malandi pa ako sa bakla kpag nakilala nyo ako...naman...naman...naman....Well, mabuti nman at hindi ako na enganyo.

I have a cousin who is bakla too, eldest cousin namin, so he was above 50 na. Etong katabi ko dito, may bahid na rin. Yung kumpare ko na in 10 years kaming magkaibigan e hindi ko matanong sa kanya kung ano talaga siya...powtah kilos bakla e... ang laking tao pa, baka isabit ako sa poste kapag tinanong ko e. My friends brother is bakla. My other kumpare...ayun bakla. Kaya wala na tayong magagawa. I accept the fact na tao rin sila, they do need respect... if they respect themselves.

Krung! Krung!

Someone told me a story the other day, about a boy-meets-girl, make sagot the guy then after few years... girl-leaves-boy! (famillar to ah). Love is a sacrifice daw...duh! at sinong ponio pilatong gagawa ng ganyan ngaun?! Well, everybody(sinagot ang tanong). There's this and that!... Been there, done that!... "na-mi-miss ko na sya hu hu hu", e anak ng...iniwan ka na nga e, syempre may reason...dami; siguro nasasakal na sya, may nakitang meron higit sayo, ayaw ng magulang sayo, ang booring mong kasama dahil wala ka ng binukang bibig kung nde "bago cellfone q!... wanna try?", "may laro kami mamya dala ka twalya", o baka kala nya dati ang guwapo mo sa unang tingin sa bandang huli panget din, mabaho hininga mo... at ang huli "AYAW KO NA SAYO!!". In different cases, many reason. No one can predict when will the pain remain or "sumama na sa bagyo!", like me, I thought he was the one (scenario: 7yrs ago) he's my whole world, my life, my companion, my love (sowsss!) but a year, nawala nalang, lumipad na ata kasama ng utak nya papuntang Dubai (ay ewan), kaw ba naman sabihan ka "Wala na ako nararamdaman...kc ang bigat mong kasama"...nyee as if nag-fit yung reason e noh, sana nga sinabi nalang na meron ng iba e matatangap mo pa kasi kapag ganun alam mong may kulang ka, at may nakakahigit sayo. Kung lalaki lang ako malamang nagsuntukan na kami nun e ha ha ha. Maybe it was never meant to be talaga, wag na ipilit ang ayaw kasi the more you put it that way, it gets worse (nakana...nagsalita).

Another case (nde akin); girl-meets-boy, boy-love-girl, then boy-pinagpalit sa ibang-girl, pathetic, naive. Hmmmm, in this kinda thing medyo common na, the girl thought that she's super secure with his guy, they said that it is their nature to... you know, magkaroon ng sabit yung guy, huh! and they thought na napaka-macho na nila sa ganun state. Sample, I have a friend, lahat ata ng lugar sa CAMANAVA e tinantusan na (Oo Jepp kaw yun!), minsan nakakainis na kasama kasi paranoid lagi "Uy! alis na tayo dito baka may kakilala si Tanga, makita pa ako!" Or "Pre may regalo ako, nandyan sa kotse... busog ka dyan he he he" langya akala ko lechon, babae pala. The fact na ganito ang nature ng mga lalaki e meron naman good side, yun nga lang minsan kapag dumating na sa punto na wala sayo ang hinahanap nila e maghahanap pa rin (nyeee ganun din)labo. Well, meron pa naman natitira, and maybe sya nalang siguro ang taong ganun sa mundo (sowss mare swerte mo sa bf mo), mabait, masipag, mapagmahal, God-fearing at kung anu-ano pa (meron ka ba non), I'm talking about BZZZZZZZZZZ (aray! aray! kuryente!!), he's one of my friends, actually kababata ko. Minsan nga naiisip ko baka tanga na lang tong taong to eh, kasi kahit ano ang gawin sa kanya ng gurl ay naku... pusta ako babatukan mo. But I salute this guy (hehehe yan pinuri kana). Sa situation like this, I may say, kapag ganito ginawa sa'yo, face the reality (parang ang dali e noh), mas masaklap nga yung mismo sa harapan mo mas pinili yung iba (nakupo, don't ask coz nakakabwiset!), Head on, isipin na lang na mas maganda na yung ganun, kung may nakakahigit sa'yo na sometimes na "questionable" na mukang paliparan ng eroplano ang katawan e ala kang magagawa, its he's dezizion! mark your mind "Hindi ako ang nawalan"(Yeheyy!! sabay-sabay!) Then move on, but wag muna maghanap ng ipapalit, I'm not saying na pangit tingnan but kawawa ang mabibiktima, sbihin mong hindi mo intentions ang mang gamit pero ganun na rin ang kalalabasan. Oki!

Another case; Boy-meets-girl, girl-love-boy, but boy found-out-a-secret, then boy-leaves-girl... or vice versa; This will be bullsh!#!, if you really love your special someone, you don't have to dig-in for some of their past, well depende nalang kung mad killer yan dati, a secret sometimes has to remain a secret, 'wag mong ipilit kung ayaw, they will reveal it to you if the time comes, and if they really trust and love you enough pwedeng mapaaga ang pag-confess nya "shhhh...alam ko kung sino nag assasinate kay Ninoy" (yung mga ganong tipo ba). And in your part, nandun na yun kung ma-appreciate mo ang kanyang sinabi. Well in some cases (ehemplo, ehemplo) There's this girl, she trully loves his guy, she said, "I have a little bit of a secret, and I love you kaya ayokong may itinatago sa'yo"...(so here goes)... Isa siyang lokaret... kung tawagin ng jologs ay "Muret!", if you can imagine what kind of a girl this is... BINGO!, makulit, magulo, maingay, isang damakmak ang naging syota sa school, hindi na virgin (issue ba yun?)etc etc... but that was before when she met you at wala kapa sa buhay niya. But things change, nag iba na lahat... iba na lahat sa kanya. Nung nalaman mo na ganito siya noon, pero iba na ngayon, well thank God at tinangap mo... pero hindi bukal sa loob mo. They ended in marriage, but then suddenly nag-flash back sayo ang lahat... "Ba't ito ang pinakasalan ko?"... e bakit nga ba?...kasi mahal mo, kaya chuva ang lahat ng negatives niya. You have to understand, nobody's perfect, kahit ikaw siguro may bahong tinatago. Don't complain!! think about the future, hindi yung kahapon. I read a magazine about a couple who's been going steady for four years, they decided to tie a knot for the next six months, then suddenly the guy change his mind, he realized that his girlfriend e hindi na... you know... hindi siya ang naging una sa experience ng (hayyy) and he said "You're not the ideal wife that I'm dreaming of, a mother of my kids!".... WHAT!... Kapag ganito ka, then you are an ass#@ll!!. Think about it.

SCREW THE MAN!!

I'm at the office ryt now, before that I went to barangay hall to follow up a blotter case (ha ha ha langya). It was a simple scenario of "friend reklamo" but estafa will be a serious situation. So let them be, sa monday naman magkakabayaran na... "God is watching us"

I go to bed this morning at 4am and automatically woke up at 6:30am (please, give me sleeping pills hu hu hu). My friend told me that "parang kang aswang!, sa gabi ka gising!".... ok ok, di bale sana kung nakakatulog ako ng umaga, e after that I have to go to work (darn!). I'm a graphic artist (aning! aning!) and also a freelancer, my daily routine are not the same as others, lalo na kapag hataw sa gawa (project). I am a mother, a wife, a workaholic (away tayo kapag pinatambay mo ako!)...That's me!
I started this kind of a situation 7 years ago, "nasanay na ako sa puyatan" in short "ako ang taong walang gabi"...laging gising, sometimes more than 48hrs (ilaban mo ako sa lamay sa patay, hindi ka uubra). I tell you why, nagsimula ako masanay when the era of "WWF"...oh yes! I'm a big Ultimate Warrior fan!! (beware Hulkters!)...BOOM ganun na. When I was in College ganun din, making plates was fun to do but the labor of making it was hard, lalo na yang Scenography! (making a miniature stage)on our time wala pang graphics at pc subjects (jurassic na kami he he he) so its mano-mano by hands, can you imagine there's dis subject in advertising that you must create a logo... or any font in a size of 12pts sa pc e kinakamay namin, lucky for the students dis days na hindi sila umabot sa ganun. Or making 4 plates in different major subjects on the same deadline (wheewww!). Pero after that... masaya na! (I miss you guys!). When I started working at the age of 18 (turning 18 in 21 days to be exact) so it was 19 kopong-kopong pa yun. Naransan ko yung walang pera sa bulsa cause yung salary ko e para lang sa tuition fee at pambili ng gamit para sa school, yung para sa transpo e "bahala na Diyos ng chekwa bukas!", My lunch will be a marlboro (minsan 50/50, hati pa kaming tatlo sa isang yosi) at tubig sa drinking fountain na muntik pa ako mabiktima ng amoeba!!... I said to myself, "I'll never go hungry again" (huh! Gone with the Wind!), I suffered from that situation for almost 2 years, then... eto na, napunta na ako sa graphics year 1999, nagsimula na panibagong kalbaryo ko. I was working sa umaga then school sa hapon (or vice versa) then bakla sa gabi...este banda pala. Hindi normal naging buhay ko ha ha ha (natawa pa), samantalang yung mga friends ko e ang tanging prob nila e exams at plates while I was thingking of "where the heck ako kukuha ng pambayad sa kuryente bukas?". Dekada na ako sa ganyan (job), I roam around the metro to work for the last 10 years. Then dumating ang moment na may extra income. Then I got married and raising a daughter. Parang hindi nga ako nanay dahil sa trabaho ko... e daig ko pa Hosto at Hostes kung magpuyat, talo ko pa tanod sa barangay kung magronda sa gabi. I wake up at 6am (swerte na yung 7am), do the daily morning rituals, minsan may dagdag pa kapag nagising yung anak ko ng maaga, pasok sa work... trabaho, trabaho, trabaho... then uwi, minsan may OT until 10pm, then uwi, minsan magluluto, then kain, pahinga ng konti, kukultin ko chikiting ko or minsan hindi na dahil pagod na, then gagawa ng sideline at 12 midnight until 3 or 4 minsan kapag gulpihan sa deadline e hangang 5:30, pahinga ng konti ulit... ligo, pasok!! (hala). I do that sometyms more than 20xs a month, kaya don't ask if I look like I'm having dis Anorexia look. They even doubted me as a drug addict because "ang lakas mong mag-trip men... tamang gawa ka sa madaling araw" thing... I realized na hindi ko ka kaya at baka I will end up like my brother who died 6 years ago at the age of 35 because of the same gawain (naku! may 6yrs pa ako para mabuhay). Nakakaramdam na ako ng hindi maganda, I even hallucinate kapag napupuyat ako "Huh! nakita mo ba yun? may ibang tao ba dito?"... nyeee, may "bulong" na ata ako. I rested for 3 months (dis year), no more freelance jobs anymore, then I quit sa banda para iwas puyat at mga gastos (dahil para akong nanakawan kapag tumutugtog kami), lumipat ako ng job sa QC (parang ganun din) sa layo at transpo... TALO!!! Then quit nanaman sa job, pahinga ng 2 weeks, at bwiset na yan sinabayan pa ng bagyo at hi-tide at pinasok ng tubig ang bahay namin sa Atlantic place ng Malabon. Balewala!!! at eto nagsisimula nanaman ang freelance ko (parang hindi ako mapakali kpag wala non)... hayyy!! till when kaya ako makakapag vacation... dream ko yun.

Day One

Abnoi's Blog dated (stated above)

Wheeeww!! Finally the typhoon e lumayas na. I live at Malabon City, well actually borderline na ng Malabon and Navotas kaya magulo ha ha ha. When you said na "Batang Kalookan"...astig, while "Batang QC"...wow gimik!! e kpag sinabi mo na... "sa Malabon po ako nakatira", pusta ko ang itatanong sayo, "e di marunong kang lumangoy?"
WHAAAAAA!!

Actually I grew up in Valenzuela...lihitomo kaya I dunno anything about baha(flood), my first day in Malabon was when my classmate invited to their home to pick up some of the canvass(for paitings)that we need for the Outdoor painting. I noticed that every house that I passed by hav a second floor and the first floor door knob e kapantay na ng tuhod ko..."Uso ba yan d2?"... I may look stupid on that question ha ha ha.

After years, tambay na ako ng Malabon, ayun!!! kneelevel flood e hindi pa sila natataranta while at Valenzuela(Karuhatan BTW) umabot lang ng bukong-bukong nagtatampisaw na. Tragic part na nakatira na aq sa Atlantic, our house that I rent was flooded yesterday, and I have a week vacation just because of that!!(grrr)and if your asking for a taxi, ay naku kpag cnabi mo the magic word..."Ay hindi ako biyahe dyan"

Yesterday, I got out from work at 6:30pm and I came home 2 hrs after that. Don't ask why...because naglakad ako...it was a bad day for me, I was walking at Letre and Im heading at C4, while walking in the middle of park-like island, a man (on front of me) e laging lumilingon, he's holding a celfone with an umbrella matching bota. I dont understand why he acted that way...I realized what I was wearing that night. A jacket with a hood and a cap drenched in rain with matching yosi (malamig e)...sus! napagkamalan pa ata ako holdaper. Kaya pala paranoid sya na he thought I was following him...naman!! Then I walked through a below knee water in the middle of the highway (inis!)I have bruises on my feet because of my slipper(aray!)and some freaking sand was fu@#*!! itchy. I hold my self to take a rest and look for a lugaw, there's nowhere to be found,even for a penoy... then I saw a jeepney "hurray!!!" it was loaded na and isa na lang ang kulang...and that's me. I was wet dahil naglakad ako, and I squeezed myself in the middle of an old lady and a typical middle age like me. Suddenly a lady beside me said "miss ano ba, ung pants mo basa, nababasa ako!"...WHAAAT!!!! Buti nalang malawak pa utak ko, kung hindi sisikuhin ko talaga e. Where can you find na tuyong tao on that time..."Bat nde ka mag Taxi!!". She wears a heavy make up(oh yeah umuulan), with a white blouse, blue skirt with a blazer... like a saleslady...aapakan ko na sana yung paa e, natawa na lang ako when I realized na baka susuotin pa nya yung uniform nya the next day. Stupidity!! I was basa, gutom, pagod, masakit ang paa...then may magrereklamo pa...sus!

Time for a CHANGE!!

Before, my plan for this part of my blog e sa mga serious lang(huh?) But then again na realize ko...Boooooorrrriiing!!

I will make some changes para wholesome ha ha ha, at para maiba naman, my other blog seems so "bloody"<----(scottish accent) seryoso.