Just something on my mind after saying hello to the phone...

Thank you for calling 'Luv Lanes'.

For love advice; press 1

love confession; press 2

if your boyfriend dumped you; press 3

if a girlfriend; press 4

if you want to kill the bastard; press5

if you want to kill the bitch; press6

if you want to kill yourself; press the trigger and all will be well.

Thank you, have a good day.