Friday, February 6, 2009

My Purrrrr...

Long since I checked in huh… write a nonsense blog, I might say. But surely, this ones not. I’ll show you my other side… other softer side hehe…

I grew up loving different animals (yeah, I have a friend to proove that). I have a list of long lined of pets since I was a little girl. So much of it, I owned sixteen cats when I was six or seven. Although I suffered asthma attacks, this doesn’t stop me from loving them. I had yellow, stripes or the one they called tabby, pure white, pure black, tigered, multi-colored, and gray. But my first cat was Audobon, he has a black with gold spots, much common at urban areas. I took his name from John James Audobon, who painted, catalogued, and described the birds of North America–or maybe a bird lover as well (Layu noh?). Audobon and I always together, after school and all. He’s sweet and playful though matakaw at the same time. My mother used to punished me when Audobon took our ulam on the table (remind you of someone?) or sleep at the clean sheets. He’s a keen hunter, yun nga lang butiki trip n’ya, but surely make us laugh at the end of the day besides his so-called weird behavior (weird ba yun?). Then as months gone by, Audobon took so many friends with him (a dozen cats) to stay with us. But he made sure dun lang sila sa bakuran kasi teritoryo n’ya na ang loob ng house–smart little fella, wasn’t he?. My heart broke when we moved out, they said that Audobon could no longer be with us. My mom said that I have to choose between the three little kittens or Audobon. I choose the kittens because they were helpless at that time. In Audobon’s eyes, though I’m not Dr. Doolittle’s daughter, I know what’s on his mind, “Why leave me?” I cried and cried because of that. I path his head and bade him goodbye. Now I have these three kittens on my hands–which happens to be Audobon’s offsprings–promised to take good care and never to leave them. I nurtured and literally feed them because they’re too small on their own. They grew up healthy and I might say that Audobon was so proud having his offspring’s well taken care off. The pure, yellow-striped like her mama was Mimi; yellow with white was Gigi–because he loves fish; and the same pattern like his brother was Meow–cause he cries a lot. Sadly, they never took any resemblance from their father that sometimes pisses me off when they told me “Hindi naman ata anak ni Audobon yan e.” Gigi was huge, while his brother was a little whiner. Mimi was dominant, suplada as some say. But all in all they were cute and malambing towards me.

Few months have passed Gigi dissapeared, maybe looking for a mate because I didn’t neutered him (abay malay ko ba d’yan non). Meow, a fine male as well–with whining on the side–followed his brother. Mimi left behind, and yikes! she’s pregnant! Gave birth to another three kittens. To my surprise, she has a little kitty same color as Audobon. Yehey! I say, but this little creature was a female! waaaaahhhh!! As my mother will get mad having another female cat, this feline stand out the rest. Though she’s a girl but her hunting made us awed. She attacked a huge rat at the backyard, which much more size of her. Not only that, she hunts and kills snakes as well. Audobon has a grandaughter that finally resembles everything of him, she attacks reptiles, his grandpapa attacks reptiles-alike HAHAHA.

Years past, this cat died of poisoning. Her mother died as well of old age. Sad right? I stopped taking care of cats since then. Yes, we have cats lingered around but I’m not that totally attached to it. They come and go. Then came Cookie, a mix terrier dog and lived with us for more than ten years. I also have a two dagang costa’s (a white rat), a really huge one and breed them till they peaked at eleven, lumaki ang dami nila. I tempt to sale them, but I’m not a good breeder because I cried everytime they bought one of them. Until I bought them back (abay gago). All of them died because our kapitbahay sprayed an insecticide, harmed them, until the two adult parents remain. The male died after a while because of illness and his partner was bitten by a stray cat. Another one of those failure, huh?

I was in college when I took another two male cats from our school. One has gray and white, the other was yellow-striped. The gray-white’s name was Cody and the other was Silly (because I think he’s crazy haha). These two were the most malambing of all my cats, for they even salubong me inside the tricycle. Because I’ve been busy with my studies, I lost the yellow one. Maybe kinuha s’ya ng iba coz humahabol nga sa tricycle. Cody, I thought of him was gay–haha meron baklang pusa–he’s a huge, densed fur, with sharp eyes, but despite of his masculinity, he’s like a female kung umasta. He whines like one of those naglalanding pusa. He’s so malambing and smart. He reached the age of two when he passed away because of infection on his genitals (eh bakla nga e). I didn’t reached in time when he died, that I promised him to be back as early as possible at dalhin s’ya sa vet. I promised myself after that that I will never sympathized any cat. But even I forced myself to do that, still my weakness empowered me; I save lots of feline from the streets, nakikipag away ako sa mga nananakit ng any pets, and burried them myself if I can kapag namatay sila. I said to myself, “Kung may pera lang ako, papagawa ako ng malaking bakuran at aampunin ko yung mga ligaw na pusa at aso.” But it’s just a dream and I know that few (like myself) sympathized weak and helpless animals.

I adopt a two-year old dog and named her Cha-Cha na nuknukan ng taba ngayon from the two elder couple’s from Tondo who can’t feed him no more, she got two offprings; Dagul and Negra, I had also a Labrador named Ginger, who acted like a puppy despite from her big body, a cat named Sassy and her two sons Sunget and Topak, two Abyssinian and two local guinea pigs; Pepper, Sugar, Salty, and Spice, we have two flower horns and a red salamander (Hindi mahilig sa hayop enoh). I don’t have Jye2x yet (my daughter), and because of that parang ginawa ko silang anak. When my daughter was born, I already had Ginger, Cha-Cha, Sassy and her sons. The four guinea pigs died, which I cried, again (lagi naman e), Topak was given away, gave him to my kumpare, Topak and Sassy dissapeared after we move to another house (guess they don’t like it there). Sassy was dear to me, malambing din s’ya’t smart. She likes spicy food and corn, and watched TV with us (hanef enoh). She’s the best friend of Ginger. Ginger by the way died after six years being with us. I was so sad and cried almost a week, that even my husband cheered me up bade to bought another dog like her. Surely I was flattered, but Ginger is Ginger and nothing can replace her that easily. I said no, begging to let me subside for a while to have another dog. Cha-Cha was the only one I have left, but sadly, she was taken away too by my in-laws to be the guard of their house.

I was back to zero, no pets again. But last year, after so months of mourning, the lost of my pets and long to have one again, some stray kitten was left behind to our doorstep. He’s so small, frightened and hungry. My husband took him in for awhile, planning only to stay with us in just one night. He’s a yellow cat with white fur and loves to play with us around, till I decide to adopt him again and call him Sally (yep, Monster’s Inc). After few months, I was walking by the road, I heard a kitten cry. I look for it and found a yellow kitten. I took him home for Sally to have a playmate. I named him Luthor because of his aggressiveness and cunning. Now my family is complete once more, we include them to our vacation trips and other stuff, sometimes they called us silly having them for a special treatment. So what, I said. “Bakit, pusa n’yo ba ganyan katalino? They po-pooh on bathrooms noh!” They are potty trained, not unlike the other stray cats na saan-saan lang magbawas.

Sally is timid, lame, in short masungit. But his weakness is the yarn or any kind of thread; moving or not, he will go gaga on that. Or anything new to him, like styro’s, plastics, carton boxes and the likes, BASTA BAGO SA PANINGIN N’YA GAME S’YA. Unlike Luthor, Sally is a camera shy, always on the hide if there’s a camera around. All of his pictures were stolen shots. He’s scared of firecrackers too, and indistinct noise that one time I almost drop laughing when my husband got drunk and puke at the toilet, he was so scared made a run-around the house because of that puke sound. He loves to istambay above the TV, his basket, or my pillow. Always at the door, looking outside or waiting for whose not around the house. He’s a meat lover, no fish for him (well maybe sometimes if he wants to taste it), lover of soups or better yet noodles, he’s not a sweet tooth because both him and Luthor likes a little kick of spices. He doesn’t like the idea of having a colar around his neck, he’s irritated. He doesn’t talk much but he’s a whiner when it comes to eating time (yeah like any cats does not). But one thing that made me quiver sometimes, his stare. Like he wants to say something outloud but because of that little tone of his, my attention was focused on his eyes. He like to look at you way down like “Ano ka ba, engot? Hindi nga ako kumakain n’yan.”

The little, energetic, always-the-go feline, the what-the-hell-is-that kinda attitude was my kitty Luthor; Kabaligtaran s’ya ni Sally. He’s vocal, papansin, loves to sleep beside me or anyone sleeping at the bed, sofa and so fort. You will always see him at the door watching every movement outside. Unlike Sally, Luthor likes children kahit gulpihin mo pa yan hindi ka aawayin n’yan, no prob when it comes sa karagahan. He too loves to sit on my lap and watched TV with me, eating what’s on my hand. He’s a pakialamero when it comes to toys of his big so-called brother, or terrorizing Sally as much as he can. Kung baga sa bunso, pang asar talaga. Dahil hindi ka tatantanan n’yan hangat hindi mo s’ya pinapansin. And where can you see a cat who loves camera, posing like a model? Yup, Luthor! He like to pose, alam n’ya na sy’a ang kinukunahan ng pic. One time I had this product shoot to finish, it was dawn already and I think that was 3:00am. Luthor sat beside the camera while Sally played with the packaging. I took a quick turn after arranging the products that I’ll shoot, when I turn back I saw Luthor kick them all and sat in front of the camera. “ANAK NG!!” I want to get mad but how can I, ang cute n’ya! hahaha (sample pics below). Then after that he always makes sure he has this share of pics everytime I’m in the middle of my work.

I love both of them so much, they made me ease my day kapag bad trip ako. My husband sometimes complaining that I treated or always favored the two cats rather than him. My daughter love them both and always brought them food after school; fishballs! My husband bought them both of their colars, yun nga lang baliw itong si Sally ayaw suotin at yung kay Luthor naman akala n’ya toy kaya he chewed on it. My husband doesn’t show how much he loves the two, but when I’m not around, he’s talking to them like “mamya aalis ako, ano gusto n’yo pasalubong?” or playing hide and sick with them along with my daughter.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Letting Go of Someone…..

You heard promises.Oh yeah, like hell they did! Then somehow dropped like a falling star. You loved, and they loved back, how sweet, then it fades. It sucks!

You open your eyes and see what you want to see, but never realized you’ve been blinded by lies and the flame you had had burned you up. You can’t accept nor even look at it, ‘How it all began? How it ended
that way?’ You cried and cried until none of the tears left and dried. You became miserable, how did you missed it. Now, anger was built — The one that you loved was now your number one foe.

They came and field the void, you’re happy, contented, lovely. Everyday you overwhelmed by the words of love and want to hear it over and over until it bleeds. They made its way somewhere to nowhere, ‘How adventure it would be?’ Excited, lustful. Then one strike, it took away, and now questioning it, ‘How can you be like that?’ then relationship failed. You ask yourself, how do you believe in love forever more and now keep it in the dark? Well, that’s what we called letting go.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Dead Drunk

I woke up this morning and damn my head hurts. Yes I did booze but not that, you know "sobra" I slept at six (AM yun giliw) and wake up at ten (AM pa rin, syet!). Our so-called fun tugtugan last night was good but nature e hindi nakisama. I was singin' the part of Sampaguita's "TAO", emote na emote pa lola mo and I thought that the crowd was going wild amazement, we ended good, still close my eyes and I hear something like; Woooohhh! and I smiled but when I open my eyes, nyeeee umuulan pala, kaya pala nagsigawan. I just said, "O san kayo pupunta?" and I saw the rain and fuck it's almost big as my thumb. We stick at the stage, begging to stop the rain and lastly I think it's not going to happen, cause it's dripping, A LOT. BADTRIP!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I hate myself...I want to...kill...YOU!!

Dsc00037 We were at my friends house, no, actually from our bassist home where we used to tune up a little songs and drank booze after, we can call it "Limelight of the Week" because the "get-together" thing. I am too damn exhausted last night, slight chills and colds. My eyes was watery and my skin's burning up and I can't do anything, except to eat that dinner that his wife prepared. While conceiving the food, we watched some videos that taken from the previous gigs of ours. It was good... for them... and boy, I sucked BIG TIME! I don't know if that's a tune. I said to myself "Yeah, that's me alright!" and Aj (bass) said "Pamalit ka na Niq!" and laughed his ass off. It was taken as a joke but not for me. I don't take that because it is true, I have to be replace after all. I've been in this kind of... leisure since the whole thing began to my life and never saw it coming, It took me more than a decade just to see myself in the video "I fucked up". I only see a drunken asshole singing some tunes that's not even a note, my ears bleed. and I don't need any criticism just to accept things as my fault. I AM CRITICIZING MYSELF AS "MY FAULT!" and that irritates me.

Crop After that dinner, I got my cigs in my hand and went outside the house, one after the other they also withdrew themselves from the TV and join me. I know what's next "What was that all about? What the hell happened to you?" You don't have to ask me that over and over again. I said, "Hindi ko na kaya" and Rommel said "Nabibingi ka lang" and I back talked liked "No! Hindi ko na kaya." while Aj said Music is an endless learning, progressive (or something like that) and I took a chance to spill it out "you can also earn that as an individual, an observer perhaps. Appreciation. You don't have to learn music because you're in a band".

We went home that night without saying any syllables to chop. I feel weak. I said to Rommel (drummer) "I'll find my own replacement, what do you prefer, babae o lalake?" he was in shocked... also pissed, like: what world do you came from to say such a thing? Simple... I want to take a break, no, too lame, I'm quitting!It's not a new issue to him, I want to do that two years ago. I have my reasons and nadagdagan pa. I'm quitting because I don't want to, I'm quitting because I have to. I don't want to stay here for all of you because of my abilities to run things, I want to stay here because you need my me, my talent. I am just a normal-unsuccessful vocalist of a group that maintain for the last eight years who fucked up her forte and wants to leave, can't you understand as simple as that? He was scared (I think) because he knew that I will be back someday, not to them but to another group. So what? I can't promise myself to turn against the one thing I love, I'm just not that naive to let another one take my seat. I don't know, maybe I am. Ang gulo!

I said to myself before (when I was 29) after the next to years aayaw na ako. And maybe nows the time. I am 31 at exactly 15hrs, 12mins and 25secs.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

DEATH STAR CANTEEN

Darth Vader: I will have the penne al arrabiata
Canteen Staff: You need a tray...
Darth Vader: Do you know who I am?
Canteen Staff: Do you know who I am?
Darth Vader: This is not a game of "Who the fuck are you?" for I am Vader, Darth Vader, Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought.
Canteen Staff: Well, you still need a tray...
Darth Vader: No I wouldn't need a tray, I don't need a tray to kill you. I can kill without a tray with the power of the force which is strong within me though I could kill you with a tray If I so wish. For I can hack at your neck with a thin bid until the blood flow on the canteen floor.
Canteen Staff: No, the food is hot. You need a tray to put the food on...
Darth Vader: Oh I see the food is hot I'm sorry, I did not realize. Oh yes, haha... I thought you're challenging me to the fight to the death?
Canteen Staff: Fight to the death? This is canteen, I work here.
Darth Vader: Yes, but I am Vader... Lord Vader? Everyone challenges me to the death... Lord Vader, Darth Vader?... Sir Lord Vader?...Lord...Sir...Darth?... The Death Star, I run the death Star?
Canteen Staff: What's the Death Star?
Darth Vader: This is the Death Star, you're in the Death Star... I run this Star...
Canteen Staff: This is a Star?
Darth Vader: This is a fucking star... I run it. I'm your boss!
Canteen Staff: Oh you're Mr. Stevens?
Darth Vader: No... I'm... who's Mr. Stevens?
Canteen Staff: He's head of the Catering...
Darth Vader: I'm not the head of the catering... I am Vader, I can kill catering with a thought...
Canteen Staff: What?
Darth Vader: I can kill you with a thought... I can kill you all with a thought... I can kill me with a thought...Fuck! I get a tray...fuck it!...This one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...this one's wet...Did you dry this in a runforest, why?... With the power of the Death Star did we not have a tray which is fucking dry?... No...No..No... I was here first!
1st Customer: You have to form a line if you want food... Well can I have a penne al arrabiata...that will be nice...
Darth Vader: No...Do you know who I am?
2nd Customer: That's Jeff Vader that is?
Darth Vader: No...No...No...I'm not Jet Vader, Im Darth Vader...
1st Customer: What?....Jet Vader, runs the Death Star?
Darth Vader: No...Jeff...I'm Darth Vader, I run the Death Star!
3rd Customer: You're Jeff Vader?
Darth Vader: No...No...No...I'm not Jet Vader, Im Darth Vader...
3rd Customer: Are you his brother, can you get his autograph?
Darth Vader: No I can't get...Jeff...I'm Darth...Alright I'm Jeff Vader... I'm Jeff Vader.
2nd Customer: Can I have your autograph?
Darth Vader: No! Fuck off! Or I will kill you with a tray!... Give me penne al arrabiata or you shall die...and you...and you...and you and everyone else in this canteen. Death by Tray it shall be!
Canteen Staff: Wooooh! Do you want peas with that?
Darth Vader: Peas...it don't have peas! You can't put peas...it's red it doesn't work on penne...you can't unless you push it that will be weird...oh alright put some peas!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I wish I knew how to QUIT you....YOSI!

The taming time again are here and decided to quit(again)smoking and you know it's hell. Yesterday I tried to have a four sticks of cigs...from morning till out from the office but NO NO...when I came home...ayun nag iinuman mismo sa bahay....lintek! nasira promise ko sa sarili ko....grrrrrr....PUFF PUFF PUFF!