My sister wrote an email today. She lives in
California with her husband and their thirteen year old daughter. She
said there's good news and bad news. The good news is, after thirteen or
so years, she finally got pregnant - Yehey! But the bad
news...well, the bad news was the ultrasound shows the baby has signs of
hydrocephalus...and that devastated her. Well, who wouldn't?
And
because of her condition she asked me to pray for the baby and for her.
However, there's one problem. I'm an Atheist.
...okay, don't kill me yet. Hear me first.
...okay, don't kill me yet. Hear me first.
Apart
from my husband, and he’s catholic, and he understood me, the rest of
my family doesn’t know. How can I explain to my sister about my
situation? I can’t bide her request, but the request itself is making me
guilty. What can I do? I can’t tell her for me there’s no God. I can’t
tell her - though I grew up inside the catholic sec, and turned
Agnostic and then Atheist - that prayers doesn’t work for me. That it's
all about us, it's all about humanity and realism and nothing more.
I...I don't want to upset her.
...shit I feel useless :(
PS: For those who find me...different - outcast! go on and tell me so, but that’s not what I am here for. I am what I am, and I know how it feels to be uncommon. I was mocked before, and yes, I am stone when it comes to that. But I am here because I need help. Wait. My sister is the one needs help. What form of phrase or words can I tell her that I cannot do what she wants me to do? Other than fly to her and be at her side...
I...I don't want to upset her.
...shit I feel useless :(
PS: For those who find me...different - outcast! go on and tell me so, but that’s not what I am here for. I am what I am, and I know how it feels to be uncommon. I was mocked before, and yes, I am stone when it comes to that. But I am here because I need help. Wait. My sister is the one needs help. What form of phrase or words can I tell her that I cannot do what she wants me to do? Other than fly to her and be at her side...
...damn, now I’m crying.
***
Responses from my LJ:
quillaninc (112.213.166.166) wrote:
Jun. 22nd, 2011 10:17 pm (local)
You have every right to feel the way you do, hon, and I say that as a Christian.
The thing about faith - any faith - is that it is personal. You don't have to apologise for that. We mightn't have the same view on things, but the reality is that you're just as likely to be right as I am; that's why it's a 'belief'.
How about just saying that she's in your thoughts every day/morning/what-have-you? It's not untrue, and it implies the same thing. You don't have to go into specifics, but you don't have to deny your own feelings either.
I agree with you, that now's not the time to air your different perspectives, and given the intensity of Catholic doctrine, it may never be. You're not wrong there. It's to your credit that you both want to be honest, and yet don't want to cause any hurt.
As long as you're making a genuine effort in your way, I don't see any reason for you to feel guilty. Prayer is her way; action is yours. Neither are inherently right or wrong.
As a separate issue, though, I'll keep your sister in my own prayers. But that's a faith choice I make, it's not to give you any feelings of inadequacies whatsoever, and I want you to believe that.
In the end, the only thing you need to do is love her. And that's something you don't have to compromise.
The thing about faith - any faith - is that it is personal. You don't have to apologise for that. We mightn't have the same view on things, but the reality is that you're just as likely to be right as I am; that's why it's a 'belief'.
How about just saying that she's in your thoughts every day/morning/what-have-you? It's not untrue, and it implies the same thing. You don't have to go into specifics, but you don't have to deny your own feelings either.
I agree with you, that now's not the time to air your different perspectives, and given the intensity of Catholic doctrine, it may never be. You're not wrong there. It's to your credit that you both want to be honest, and yet don't want to cause any hurt.
As long as you're making a genuine effort in your way, I don't see any reason for you to feel guilty. Prayer is her way; action is yours. Neither are inherently right or wrong.
As a separate issue, though, I'll keep your sister in my own prayers. But that's a faith choice I make, it's not to give you any feelings of inadequacies whatsoever, and I want you to believe that.
In the end, the only thing you need to do is love her. And that's something you don't have to compromise.