What does Love really means to you? Does it brings you joy, or does it brings you pain? Ironically, both can be accepted as one. They’re like twins, they are linked. It could be boring without the opposite. Because when love grows inside you, you will endure joy and pain at the same time... in a unique kind of way, that is.
Love can bring people into one, or so they said. Of course the word speaks for itself. But after a while, after diluting yourselves for so many years, one of you will fuck it up and eventually curse one another. Or sometimes you wish you have a gun instantly and shoot that fuckhead in the head instead. Irrational? I know, but some of us are and that is the saddest part. However, whoever the victim was, they never...ever fall out. Still they will strive, go on, finding what love can bring them until they find someone worth it. Consequently, history will repeat again or you will gain the ‘happily ever after’. Oh how sweet... tiresome but sweet. Love can be... scary, you know.
When some of us experience Love for the first time, it’s an alien, though we know the aftermath. But hell, we don’t know how to describe it that time... not until you felt the pain. And yes, I consider the Baygon bottle instead of the knife when it comes to that. Quick, painless and no gushy after feel. After few sleepless nights and... contemplation, as the lesson just slapped into your face, you’ll realize it was all bullshit. As a result, you will protect yourself from the potential paramour while your definition of love differentiates day by day by adding a little sarcasm into it, or until you can’t offer them what they can give because you fear the love that once torn you emotionally (sometimes literally) and not able to yield anymore. You will avoid to be succumbed by joy so that you can be free from pain. You’re having the contentment in your own way—getting the upper hand, I mean. You don’t care about the love but the whole being, can’t offer the feelings have been given to you but you’re insatiable to let it go. Territorial, so to speak. Kulang na lang ihian mo harapan ng bahay nila para masabing sa’yo lang s’ya. Or you can be a ‘Sherlock Holmes’ when it comes background check.
After months or a year maybe, you will become restless, tired, bored and, in some circumstances, paranoid. Realizing that there’s a void and damn, you don’t know how to fill the space anymore. And by then you will ask yourself ‘Am I satisfied by being suspicious, cynical... shallow?’ Anxiety starts to overcome and now you’re scared by the ghost you created, realized that the fuckhead you once knew now turn out to be you.
But really, does love has a definite meaning? No one can describe it really, as few of us debated that for century. Everyone has a unique definition one against the other. But though we cannot unite the significance of the word, there’s this feeling could connect us to that. As long as you can embrace it, you don’t have to look down on a dictionary to explain to yourself. Let love devoured you; just use a little brain with it. Be happy yet prepared to be sad. That’s all there is...
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